3 Steps to Building More Self Care into Your Life
Let’s talk about 3 steps to building more self care into your life, I get it we all have busy lives between our partner’s, families, jobs, businesses and our houses, there is always something we need to do. Some days you feel like you are running an uphill marathon and there is no time for you. If this sounds like you read on as I’m going to help you change this in a few easy steps.
It’s true you can’t be the best version of yourself if you don’t put your own needs first. Us women are born nurturers we love to look after other’s, it’s just in our nature to do so. When we do take time for ourselves we often feel guilty because there is something else we could be doing like things around the house or helping someone out. Taking time for yourself and having healthy boundaries in your life is essential to your own wellbeing.
The power of saying no.
Are you always a yes person that wants to help other people out but you often find yourself starting to resent them because there is no time for you. You don’t like saying no because you don’t want to disappoint other’s. By always saying yes to your family, friends and colleagues without putting yourself first, you are giving your power away to others. Instead we want to keep our power within us that way we can make a decision that best serves us.
I’m going to tell you a short story of the power of saying no, which happened to me in my life. During my life coach training I had just learnt about putting myself first and looking after the most important person, which is I. I was always a yes person helping everyone including strangers in the street it was just my nature.
My neighbour at the time who I didn’t know very well randomly asked me over the fence if I could help her learn to drive. At the time I had a full time job and part time life coaching study, which means that I hardly had much time to myself. Yes I felt guilty at the time but I said no as I couldn’t do it due to my busy schedule. I didn’t realise at the time but I made a choice right then to put myself first and that’s was empowering. It wasn’t easy but over time practice makes it easier to say no.
Next time when someone asks you to do something think about it first. Are you doing this because it’s something you really want to do or be involved in? If so that’s great go ahead and have fun doing this. If it’s taking you away from the opportunity to do something for you or to spend time with someone you love practice saying no. By saying no you will have more time for your own self-care. (On a quick note I’m taking about saying no to adults).
Facing the negative self-talk when guilt sets in.
When you say no and take some time for yourself you are often going to be faced with a guilty negative voice. Asking you questions like:
- You have lots to do why are you going to this yoga class/walk/run
- My partner or kids need me to be doing this…
- My boss needs me to stay back late because of this…
I’m sure you can fill in the gaps to many negative thoughts you have faced in the past. That negative voice loves to hang out and make you feel guilty but what if you decided to tell it where to go? Tap into your own thoughts by really listening to this voice in these moments. Having awareness to what it’s saying is the first step to making a change. I like to write my major belief’s down as I can see the beliefs that keep reoccurring in my life. When the belief comes up thank it for letting you know but instead you are going to choose a different path instead. I’ll be honest this takes lots of practice but by facing the negative talk will free you up to making decisions that serve you.
What self-care routines do you want to include in your life?
Now we have looked at the power of saying no and looked at the guilty negative voice we now can pick self-care time for us. We had to go through the other two steps because these two saboteurs will get in the way of your self-care but now they won’t as we have awareness.
Self-care is important, we all have busy lives, and sometimes it’s taking the small moments to add some self-care time in. It might be a mini 5 minute meditation before you get out of bed each morning, writing a page in your journal, taking a short walk around the block or having a 10-minute break for a cup of tea. These moments add to your self-care routine it’s been open to finding an opportunity that presents itself during the day. We also need to schedule in self-care time like example a longer walk, a yoga class, and coffee with a friend or getting your hair blow-dried. I want you to think of 3 things you can schedule in for you this week. Write them in your diary, get your partner to make dinner/look after the kids and make yourself a priority.
Thank you for coming on the journey with me today and having more self-care time for you. Please share with me your 3 things you are going to do just for you this week?
Hi Everyone, I’m holding an in person workshop on the afternoon of Sunday 20th March 2016 in Perth Western Australia on “Stepping Into Your Own Power” for women. If you want to start putting yourself first and face your negative thoughts at the same time join me for this fun transformational workshop. Click here for more information.