Letting Go of Control When Life Isn’t Going to Plan

Do you have something in your life you are currently trying to control? Or a situation that’s stopping you from living to your potential? Welcome to letting go of control when life isn’t going to plan.

This could be a relationship, friendship, career, business, or health related challenge. It’s frustrating to say the least when things aren’t flowing exactly how you like them to. Or it’s taking too long to happen as we are an impatient bunch wanting everything right now.

Accept your situation

The first step is to fully and deeply accept the situation no matter how challenging this is to admit at first. It doesn’t matter what the external world is doing or saying aka everyone around us. As the only requirement is to turn inwards, by personally connecting to ourselves and fully accepting this is where you are in this moment.

Ever heard of the saying our inner world reflects our outer world. When stuff in your life isn’t working it’s because you created this in some way or another. Sure it seems like an easy solution to stand around in the external world bitching about things and why things aren’t working. We have all been there and even if it does feel good in the moment having a big whinge. In the long term scheme of things its taking you further away from changing your reality.

Instead let’s visit the option to embrace the patient self by letting things flow as they are meant to. By attempting to control your situation, picturing what your final outcome must be like and pushing the outcome with all your strength it will only push it further away.

When you have tunnel vision

Often in life we have blinkers on the side our eyes we only see something straight ahead as control allows us to see only one way. Seeing this one way limits our potential as there is many other amazing better options available to us if we only turn our head and let the 360 vision shine in.

Wouldn’t you like to be opened up to the amazing possibilities? What if I told you there are endless amounts of possibilities and options just waiting to present themselves to you? If you let down your guard, go within and release the control in your mind your currently feeling.

Where are you right now?

Let’s start by looking at exactly where you are right now in your situation, relationships, career, business or health journey. Which one of these sections in your life is bothering you the most and feels out of alignment?

Stop by taking a few deep breathe’s to slow down your breathing so you can reconnect to yourself. The most important thing you can do is breathe properly, it sounds weird but it’s true. When we breathe in a shallow manner our breath gets stuck, our body doesn’t get oxygen required and we stay stuck in our heads/body. I still have to be conscious of my own breath as shallow breathing is a very bad habit of mine especially when I feel stressed or not present in my body.

Taking some belly breathe’s helps you to connect to yourself and unblocks the stuck feelings that may be there. Gives us the opportunity to slow the pace down and get out of the head of the monkey mind (aka negative mind). As life is fast paced it’s not always easy to be in the present moment. By slowing down with a clearer head you can start to see past the control.

Let’s look at a few questions to jog your memory about how this situation or challenge is making you feel.

  • What is happening currently to make you feel or see “the situation” this way?
  • What are you trying to control?
  • What is frustrating you the most?
  • How does your mind, body and soul feel?

Take the acceptance route as obviously controlling the situation isn’t working because the flow of energy isn’t flowing through your body and mind. This is instead presenting you with feelings of stuck-ness and frustration of not moving forward. Your body often shows up in aches, pains, tightness in your stomach, you may feel anxiety or maybe even something more intense.

There is no right or wrong just be accepting of yourself at where you are on your journey. I’m here to tell you if you feel struggle own how you feel, it’s fine to not know the answer to where you are heading next and been uncomfortable in the transition stage is part of the journey. In this phase its important to be aware, be ok with not knowing the outcome and think of it as a character building because you will certainly learn so much about yourself.

The more acceptance you can bring into your life this will allow you to start peeling away some layers of what isn’t working and start letting go of control. I could write pages of things on this subject as it’s just so big and broad. But instead blogs are about keeping it short and sweet.

My main takeaway for you is, when you feel control taking over, you feel stuck and things aren’t working. Breathe properly, connect to how you truly feel in your mind, body & soul, take baby steps, get moving in your body and be kind to yourself. By implementing just a couple of things you will start the wheels of change. Next fortnight I’ll be back with the next stage, which is working with letting go of the judgement and comparisonitis.

I hope you have enjoyed letting go of control when life isn’t going to plan. I love to hear from you what are you currently struggling with in your life? What’s one thing you are going to do to start moving forward? Looking forward to seeing your answers in the comments below.